by Nadia Siddiqui
A 24-year-old-man in Multan married two women in 24 hours. This incident happened in Multan and the media presented it as spicy news for the viewers. We are living in an age where reality shows provide us entertainment. There is no surprise why as an audience we were not enraged by this incident. After all we are so used to have the dinner served with TV playing a live coverage of the sites where bomb explosion has left mutilated bodies and blood pools. We are a nation immune to surprises. There is no shame in admitting that the entertainment standards have reached a limit that we regularly need to watch on our TV screens the maddening dance of death and the living realities of injustice and victimization. I read somewhere that there lies a deep pleasure for the audience to see torture and suffering inflicted upon others. I think we are seeking pleasure
The reason to raise voice here is not the media and its viewers. In fact I appreciate the resources that brought this incident on the surface and let us examine the laws for polygamy and their implementation. According to the practice of Islamic laws in our country, a Muslim man in Pakistan is allowed to have four wives. It is important to mention here that the formulation of laws and their amendments do not come from people on whom these laws are implemented rather it is Quran and its interpretations that make laws for us. I am therefore not surprised why legal registration of marriage and divorce are loosely practiced. The reason is our preference given to the practice of having two witnesses for the marriage rather than some written documentation. The practice of having two marriage witnesses is interestingly not mentioned in Quran; rather it has been followed since the times of Prophet and Caliphs when legal documentation was not in vogue. Do we somehow think and believe even today that documentation is still impossible in the age of computers?
The traditionalist Islamic interpretation believes that the Quran allows men to have four wives. As the permission exists, so all Muslim men have the allowance to marry more than one woman. The more rational support in favour of polygamy is given by scholars such as Dr. Zakir Naik. I heard him saying in one of his lectures how a society can be prevented from prostitution if polygamy is truly practiced. I wonder asking him if any Muslim man has ever married more than one because he intended to save the society from prostitution. I also wonder if marriage is the only practice that can prevent women from prostitution. As I know and I have heard that many married women are forced into prostitution by their husbands.
In 1961, the government of Pakistan introduced the marriage ordinance according to which a man required approval from the arbitration council before the second marriage and he was required to ensure that he would treat all wives equally. The amendments in the law have been accepted at the stage where a man requires having permission from his ex wife(s) to marry the other woman. The wife’s consent for her husband’s marriage is a legal procedure which requires documentation. Although, there have been a case of Samina Khawar Hayat, a female legislator in the Punjab assembly pleading against the amendment in law for ex wife’s consent, the law is still binding men for the second marriage consent from their ex wife.
In the case of two marriages in Multan within 24 hours of time period, I wonder if all these legal actions had been ensured or not. If I come to know that the legal documentation was performed and it was insured by the man in front of legal authorities that his financial status would allow him to keep both the wives, I must appreciate the law systems in Pakistan for their quick implementation. I suppose the Multan case would be recorded in the Guinness book of world records for the most immediate legal action in the history.
The question is not only about the legalities of the procedure and their documentation, the point also arises that the practice of polygamy is so easy and therefore rampant in our society. The wife’s consent is an easy procedure as it does not require her physical presence in the court. There is no other procedure that can ensure that the consent was given without any pressure. In many cases other family members play their role and persuade or harass woman and even sometimes force a woman to abstain from a formal complaint in the court.
As I see this incident of the two marriages, it is an alarming stage where injustice is done in the name of religion. It is an image of disgust where women are subject to legal victimization. No doubt that the marriage involved consent of both the women in front of media, I would even then say it was injustice. The analogy to explain my point is that this legal permission given to Muslim men is just like availability of drugs in the society. I am sure an addict and a man with more than one wife would both abhor their action after committing it. People indulge in drug abuse having awareness about the lethal results because they have access and means for using it. The legal permission of polygamy is taken as a granted right of Muslim men and I am sure that in maximum cases it is practiced not out of crucial need, but because it is allowed with minimal social and legal resistance.
F.Sehrish
November 7, 2010
A very balanced approach indeed. I was quite surprise to see the Pakistani media presenting the Multan incident like some Bollywood masala story. The two wives and the man were called as guests in Javed Chaudhary’s show “Kal Tak” on Express TV. Federal Minister for population welfare Ms. Firdous Ashiq Awan was also present. It was told that due to the pressure of the families the groom had to marry both of his cousins simultaneously. Its real embarrassment that exceptions given by religion are used in such a way to fulfill personal interests. A big portion of our population doesn’t follow laws on marriage, divorce and polygamy. Legal actions aren’t taken which in the end prove disadvantageous. Women specially never get aware of their rights which are given even by religion also. Social resistance and legal hindrance is required to stop such events from happening.
Steppenwolf
November 7, 2010
Hello F. Sehrish:
Don’t call me a chauvinist if I don’t subscribe to your view of polygamy being a religious exception.
Nadia
November 8, 2010
I agree with you Sehrish. It is a common practice seen that the whole focus of a marraige is the event of wedding day. Generally, there is no interest to know about the rights and obligations. It is only realized when the issues of second marriage or divorce arise. I would say even then a woman’s voice is suppressed by the family members. Many times she compromises because there is no provision in the government to support her survival. A woman with children suffers worse
Naushad
April 7, 2012
Is there any “provision in the government” for any man, woman, child, elderly in this country that you’re moping about this issue. The issue is NOT the Quranic encouragement for men to take wives in twos, threes, and fours. The issue is lack of efficient laws against abuses, and/or proper implementation of the laws that are present for the well being of citizens. Your criticism of the religion even more repugnant because from your writing you DO NOT appear to know the religion. If you were a man, I would advise you to find a rickshaw that printed on its rear end ‘mehnat ker bhai, hasad na ker’.
Steppenwolf
November 7, 2010
Hello Nadia:
Why not challenge the case in question legally? I’m sure some of what you’ve said in account of polygamy as practiced in society must be true, but does that apply to the case in question? Pinning the whole agenda over this incident is misleading and inaccurate.
Polygamy is not synonymous with human rights abuse in any inherent way. It’s an accepted legal, cultural, and religious practice in the part of the world where we live in.
Raza
November 8, 2010
And its a wrong practice, because it provides an inherent injustice with regards to how the law should treat men and women and perpetuates the concept of the woman being inferior. Just because it has religious sanction does not mean its right in the 21st century.
Steppenwolf
November 11, 2010
I think it’s debatable. Your definition of justice might be different from mine.
21st Century didn’t bring an altogether new set of human principles along with it.
fragile emptiness
March 9, 2011
boo, you are deluded to think that polygamy results in automatic inferiority of women. You need some schizo drugs.
Jamal
June 6, 2011
Our religion has laid down a certain set of rules for those who are to follow. Picking out the things we like and leaving out the things we don’t approve of is just dishonoring the whole concept of faith. If the Quran, Hadith, Sunnah and Shariah have all clarified on a stance, then why is there a debate about the 18th century, the 19th century, the 20th century or the 21st for that matter.
Women are in no way inferior to men, their status and respect is second to non. But unfortunately, they have been objectified for a very long time and its just getting the worse and the worse part is that, now these women, themselves are the ones responsible for all this… they are promoting this objectification of all the other women by promoting the exploitation of their own kind on all modes of media.
Our Religion has clearly laid down rules for everything in life,,, its a just a matter of getting out of this 21st century thought process and accepting the true essence of life, that is, our religion.
sareeta rehman
November 7, 2010
I m totaly satisfied wid ur Articl Nadia.the qustns u raisd mst b answrd,these qustns oftlny whlem ovr my mind.
sareeta rehman
November 7, 2010
i m totaly satisfied wid ur artcl nadia,the qustns u raisd must b answrd,they oftly whlem ovr my mind,polygamy in pakistan is only a matr of peresnl interests,i dnt thnk men here mostly marry anothr woman to gv hr prtctn frm ths ruthls society,or 4 prvdng hr sheltr or any kind of explaind deed in ur artcl,surly they mary em out of their own needs.
Daniyal Alvi
November 7, 2010
Well dear i could not comprehend a word u said in it. May be your point of view may be understood by other feminists just like you…….
Anomalies like you relate non-responsive of the society to this event with terrorism affected mind set…. rather you state that this is as bad a event as a bomb blast in crowd…..
On one hand you admit that it is a legal and religious right that one guy can exercise polygamy….on the other hand you reject the current case that it would not be possible for them to properly fulfill the legal and documentation requirement.
Again you attack the concept of polygamy and relate it to drugs??
You may not like polygamy but its the right of those who want to exercise it and the girls subject to it may not be feminists like you and you cannot blame them to be ignorant of their rights. Its their own choice.
Secondly you may relate drugs to prostitution not the polygamy. Its amazing people like you do not attack prostitution like they attack Veil or Polygamy. Rather they cherish on events sex workers’ conferences in Pakistan. I would say that prostitution is more an insult to feminism than polygamy where equal rights to both the wives are made sure by law or by societal pressure.
Thirdly if you dont accept the argument of polygamy saving women from prostitution. I would rather suggest you to condemn the men who fore their wives to prostitution as i do. I would say that its the most evil act a man an do to his wife whom he has promised to provide good living. But dont forget the lives of women in Afghanistan or other places where women are not in a position to earn their livelihood their selves so getting married with a man even an already married man helps them get a secure livelihood without compromising their honor. And thats the majority of the cases. You cannot reject this argument on the basis of some sundry cases of man forcing his wife to prostitution.
Specific to the legal point it could be said (as it is uncertain to all of us) that a prior permission is taken from both the girls and their families and legalities in this specific case are met with prior to marriages (as it is quite possible on the terms of marriage laws and contract laws).
Lastly you mentioned erroneously that a man needs his ex-wife’s permission to marry again. Thats not the case. He needs the permission of his current wife(s).
Nadia
November 8, 2010
1. Daniyal, thanks for the comments. The reaction to event was as bad as any bomb blast event.
2. First, I am not rejecting that people should exercise their rights or not. I am saying that the procedures are very convinient for people to play with their own life and with others as well.
3.Prostitution is not the subject of this post. My argument is against polygamy as a suggested solution to eradicate prostitiution from the society. Sometimes prostitution is also a matter of choice. Why not legalize both of them?
4. Pakistan is not Afghanistan. Polygamy perhaps suits the economic situation and social structure of Afghanistan. I don’t know why we think all Muslim societies are the same and the similar laws and practices will work for all kinds of social groups and in all times.
5. The girls admitted in front of media what they wanted. I wish all women can come on media and announce their consent for their husband’s marriage.
6. Thanks for correcting ex wife to current wife or wives.
7. I would again say that it is not the practice but it is the ease and convinience of doing it that I am criticizing the most.
Daniyal Alvi
November 8, 2010
Well earlier you stared in your original post, as i quote:
“As I see this incident of the two marriages, it is an alarming stage where injustice is done in the name of religion. It is an image of disgust where women are subject to legal victimization.”
and then in your last reply:
“First, I am not rejecting that people should exercise their rights or not. I am saying that the procedures are very convinient for people to play with their own life and with others as well.”
When a religion (lets suppose Pakistan should be and is a secular country still every one is free to exercise his/ her religion) allows some one polygamy and the conditions set are more of moral responsibility than legal responsibility. Thats the point of view which is accepted in Islam and Muslims generally. No legal points involved in Polygamy have been carefully analyzed with and a law has been formed. Ever one according to the terms of the laws can enjoy his right of having one wife. Now this law is as tough or as easy or as per the terms of the legal conditions set in that specific religion (Islam in this case) and if some one thinks that this law is not according to the terms of that religion he/ she should point out the lacunae in this law.
On the point of moral responsibility if it is possible to legalize it, the same should be done. Otherwise matter should be left to the concerned parties to work it out. We should not poke our nose in others’ matters off course.
No i reject your point of view (sadly though) that it is an alarming stage when some one is able to practice polygamy so easily. When the laws are developed and some one can fulfill all the legal conditions then it should be easy for him. Laws are not made to make it tough for them rather to make it according to the relevant religion.
The debate on the pros and cons of polygamy in society is long debate though. Whether it helps removing prostitution or not, or whether it helps women get empowerment or not is being contested among many scholatic levels so i would not step into it. 🙂
Lastly, pretty unrelated to the matter in hand, secularism definitely does not mean to eradicate Islam at all.
Jamal
June 6, 2011
FOr THE REST OF THE PEOPLE
Our religion has laid down a certain set of rules for those who are to follow. Picking out the things we like and leaving out the things we don’t approve of is just dishonoring the whole concept of faith. If the Quran, Hadith, Sunnah and Shariah have all clarified on a stance, then why is there a debate about the 18th century, the 19th century, the 20th century or the 21st for that matter.
Women are in no way inferior to men, their status and respect is second to non. But unfortunately, they have been objectified for a very long time and its just getting the worse and the worse part is that, now these women, themselves are the ones responsible for all this… they are promoting this objectification of all the other women by promoting the exploitation of their own kind on all modes of media.
Our Religion has clearly laid down rules for everything in life,,, its a just a matter of getting out of this 21st century thought process and accepting the true essence of life, that is, our religion.
Mohammad Quraishi
November 2, 2011
I think what you have said in this article is quiet dumb,
I m so sure u would consider urself open minded and perhaps trying to follow the west for various reasons, but u fail to relize that when u say what u said in this article, you just dont respect other ppls opinion and freedom. After all who are you to tell us or some1 what to do and what not to do, and then moderen ppl brag about freedom.
I have known of cases where men have married 4 women the same day, only to say they were real man thus women were happy with them, when a person cannot find acceptance from woman in being their 2nd wife they try undermining others with such ridiculous articles.
I have seen a trend that our so called intellect in the musharaf and post musharraf ear have been tilting towards communism, u cannot do this , u cannot do that, u must only do this, what the hell,
i thought we were free
u cant marry more then 1, so communist
i also heard that 1 cant be a president if hes not married, damn we r so open minded and democratic, look at how much communism we have in us and its so accepted.
I dont care what any1 says or what the law says, our primary allegiance stays with our religion, and in Islam its perfectly allowed to marry more then 1 for any reason, even if u just feel like it.
Those who talk against it should reconsider their opinion, coz i know they say it sucking up to the west assuming that they will also be like them if they follow them, but they fail to realize that in the west ppl dont judge u on ur personal preferences, and r open to diversity. but our western suck ups think the only way forward is to be like them, i say again we must be open minded, meaning if u wanna not marry u shall be free to chose the way u wanna live, and if u wanna marry only 1 so u shall again be free to do so, and if u wanna marry more so u shall also be free to do so,
Such laws like the law in pak about permission to polygamy makes the pak law look stupid and immature,
We must be cautions of the communist elements in our socity and gov. they want to control every aspect of our lifes.
And i just read her name Nadia Siddiqui, well she should 1st learn to respect the ppl and women. her assumption that women r being victimized is actually disrespect for the women, in a way meaning that they r stupid and not able to judge for them selfes, open minded and moderen ppl respect other ppls opinions, personal lifes, and marriages. How can Nadia insult the women saying they r being victimized, it shows that nadia herself doesnt have respect for ppl nor is open minded, she just wants us to follow what she want, and this is so typical of a burger desi thinking they hold modren or western values.
I would say nadia herself is a victim of foreign media or is brainwashed in believe that she can say whatever she wishes to some1, i find it very offensive, writes must respect diversity, assuming every1 to live how we live or we want, is the most narrow thinking 1 can imagine,
Idea that polygamy is only allowed for specific needs is completely wrong with no evidence from quran or sunnah,
1 must not respect law and ppl who makes laws against the constitution of pakistan, and its say all laws shall be inline with quran and sharia.
if we want to be a developed country we must 1st learn to respect others, our religion, freedom and diversity this is the most important thing we should learn from developed nations , not yes sir yes sir.
Btw i recall once sitting with one of my american professors in the university and talking about polygamy i asked what would u do if ur daughter marries a man as a 2nd wife, he said its her personal like and choice, see this is respect for others,
our so called moderen class oppress others the most and assume they r so open minded, they oppress citing this is how they do in the west failing to realize that in the west they do so coz they want to do so, not following others.
not like u fake moderen ppl here in pak,
last note largest problem for human rights in pakistan is ppl not being educated and even those who r, r not not really educated , they r not open minded and how no thinking or critical thinking skills, as demonstrated by the writer here, they dont even respect ppl.
last note more violence
Bassam
October 1, 2013
i didnt read nadia’s article but i read each and every word you wrote above, I pray to ALLAH swt that these dumb fake modern people should learn something from you or people like you, ALLAH bless you brother…
Adir-Ya'ats "original hebrew" Yasharahla
March 28, 2015
caucasions are homo sexuals by nature…. This nadia is caught up in the hollywood gag matrix. Like I said before, most of the white men with 1 wife do not even desire the 1 wife because their perverted minds are open to having bestiality sex aka man with man…. Therefore they condescend the normal custom of polygamy…. The real Hebrews were Polygamists (Jacob, David, Solomon) and thats partly why black men are known as “players” because in our dna is polygamy. (yes, blacks are the true descendants of the tribe of Judah aka Jesus the Christ’s tribe)
xanga.com
April 25, 2013
Piece of writing writing is also a fun, if you be acquainted with then you can write otherwise
it is complex to write.
Bassam
October 1, 2013
i read the incident word on the first paragraph, and decided not to read the whole story because whoever wrote that article, must be an asshole… and of course he has nothing to do anything with islam
ridiculous@yahoo.com
April 12, 2014
I think it is funny how men support polygamy due to their religion. I suppose they always imagine themselves as the ones that will have four wives, but the reality is quite different.
The reality is that in most of the world there are only slightly more women (52% to 49%) men. This means that only rich men will get four wives, while many poor men will remain unmarried. Worse than that, countries like pakistan that are inhospitable to women (because many parents do not prefer them at birth), have more men than women (lets say 52% men compared to 49% women) This means even less women left for the poor man.
The reality is that patriarchal societies do not serve the needs of ALL WOMEN AND MOST MEN. Only the few men at the top benefit.
As for the lie that polygamy is good for women because it ensures they all get married – how ridiculous! Polygamy means that one rich man gets four women. That means that there will be 2 or 3 unmarried men because of that marriage! I for one, think it is equally important for men to have a chance at marriage as women – and with polygamy – this becomes difficult! These men will only have access to the women once they are divorced,old and no longer wanted by the rich men – in short – they will have to settle for supporting someone else’s children – how fair is that?
Yet, poor men are told that they will have four wives and heaven and maybe even four wives during life, so they support a system that might not benefit them at all! Why? Because Islam is intelligent – it knows that men are weak, and that they will live off promises, even if none of those promises are fulfilled in this lifetime!
Dont be fooled! Monogamy is the best way to ensure that each man gets one woman! Otherwise mother nature would have created four women for every man, not 1.05 women for every man! If Allah invented everything on earth, and he wanted four women for every man, there would be four women for every man! But there isn’t, and that’s because we as humans, can’t distinguish the way the world is from the way some rich greedy men want it to be.
Honest Muslim
December 8, 2014
Exact verse from Quran: ”
YUSUFALI: If ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly with the orphans, Marry women of your choice, Two or three or four; but if ye fear that ye shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one, or (a captive) that your right hands possess, that will be more suitable, to prevent you from doing injustice.
PICKTHAL: And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.
SHAKIR: And if you fear that you cannot act equitably towards orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, two and three and four; but if you fear that you will not do justice (between them), then (marry) only one or what your right hands possess; this is more proper, that you may not deviate from the right course.
If everyone then just read the direct verse, and decide for themselves.
I believe, the marriage is in context of supporting the orphans, considering the prophet was an orphan himself. A verse that is talking about institutionalizing orphanages, and looking after orphans, through the institution of marriage. The reason for marriage is to get orphans, in. Rather than to justify the verse for solely getting married.
I believe people with perverse mindsets justify their own explanation.
If you read before and after the above verse, you will notice that the verses before and after are directly talking in subject about orphans.
Adir-Ya'ats "original hebrew" Yasharahla
March 28, 2015
Ofcourse the caucasion white man will have a problem with a custom that is as normal as normal…The white man is a homosexual by nature and doesnt really even want the 1 wife he espouses himself to. Now after years of their effeminization agenda and homosexuality, theres now the space created for a stupid argument/debate. The Hebrew Israelite patriarch Jacob married 4 women and GOD never said anything that can be perceived as negative…. And eventually the entire world will fall under the blessings of Hebrew Israelite living….The Holy bible says that eventually 7 women will cling to one man…. So who looking to please?- the True living GOD in Christ or a demi fallen deposed ex sovereign?
badshah banda
November 22, 2015
All what happened is a good “incident”
there is no reason view the man as criminal. all he had done is legal. should be legal. why not?
satisfaction can bee seen on the face of girls to whom he had married they may live happily wih him.
do not give examples of west. they are not even worth talking
are women equal as men (yes)
are women same as men(no)
polygamy is allright pro feminist america have women that work as men and do everything like men
but the result is that mostly families are broken by women(3/4 divorces by females)
and today the condition in west is soo worst that. 60% of thier children do not know who is thier fathe.
women marry to women men may to men and
thier society can’t produce the human intellect that we have today such a nation wont rule the world anymore beleive me.
Pooja
December 1, 2015
Omg…after reading the comments on this page, I don’t know what to say. What kind of men do u have in Pakistan? Very sad.